This article is part of the series on cognitive distortions , systematic errors in thinking that affect all of us, not just athletes.
Have you ever been convinced that you know what your coach is thinking while watching you, or what’s going through the minds of other competitors as you warm up along the course? If your conclusions are frequently negative, assuming criticism without any real evidence, you’re likely facing the cognitive distortion known as “mind reading.” For amateur athletes, especially those focused on endurance sports, this thinking habit can become a serious obstacle that undermines motivation, confidence, and ultimately , results. In this article, I’ll examine the essence of the “mind reading” phenomenon, analyze its manifestations in the context of amateur sport, and offer concrete, practical strategies for its recognition and overcoming.
I. The Nature of This Specific Cognitive Distortion
Jumping to conclusions is a category of cognitive distortions in which we form a negative conclusion in the absence of sufficient objective facts to support it. One of the most widespread forms of this type of thinking is “mind reading.” In this distortion, we arbitrarily and groundlessly decide that we know the content of other people’s thoughts, typically attributing negative attitudes or critical evaluations toward us. This type of erroneous interpretation of others’ intentions can be remarkably persistent.
The psychological mechanisms underlying the tendency toward “mind reading” are often connected to our own internal fears, insecurities, past experiences, or core beliefs about ourselves and the world. Having lower self-esteem or previous negative experiences related to criticism can increase the likelihood of projecting these expectations onto present situations and interactions. The human brain has a natural tendency to seek meaning, patterns, and to fill gaps in available information. Sometimes, however, this process of constructing reality doesn’t work in our favor. Instead of tolerating the uncertainty that comes from not knowing others’ thoughts, we may prefer to “construct” an answer, even if it’s negative and unfavorable to us. For the amateur athlete, this can manifest as a constant inner feeling of being evaluated, compared, or even disapproved of by others, fueled by the habit of “mind reading.”
II. Typical Manifestations in the Context of Amateur Sport
Amateur sport, especially in endurance disciplines, provides numerous situations in which the tendency toward “mind reading” can be activated. During the training process, for example, an athlete participating in a group run or ride might think: “The others in the group surely think I’m slowing them down” or “That faster athlete who passed me definitely thought how slow I am.” Even the coach’s tone while giving instructions can be interpreted as a sign of disappointment with progress: “His tense voice probably means he’s unhappy.” Similar thoughts can arise when swimming in a shared lane (“The other swimmers are probably annoyed by my pace”) or during strength training at the gym (“Everyone’s watching how little weight I’m lifting and probably thinking I don’t belong here.”) , all classic examples of unfounded “mind reading.”
In the period before a competition, tension often amplifies this tendency: “Judging by the equipment and preparation of the others, they probably consider me a complete amateur with no chance” or “The look from the organizers at registration seemed strange , they probably don’t think I’m prepared for this race.”
During the competition itself , whether it’s a marathon, triathlon, or ultramarathon , every glance or action can become an object of misinterpretation fueled by the habit of “mind reading”: “The spectators along the course are looking at me with pity because they can see how exhausted I am”; “The competitor who passed me probably thinks I’ve given up mentally”; “The volunteer at the aid station handed me the water somewhat distractedly , they’re probably rushing to serve the more serious athletes, and I’m just wasting their time.”
Even after a race or key training session, the analysis of others’ behavior continues: “The coach didn’t comment on my result right away , they’re probably disappointed with my performance” or “The lack of comments from friends on my race post on social media means they don’t consider it a significant achievement.”
These thought patterns can also transfer to relationships outside the purely sporting context, for instance with family and friends: “When I share with my partner about an upcoming long training session on the weekend, I can tell by their expression that they think I’m neglecting family responsibilities for my hobby,” even in the complete absence of verbally expressed dissatisfaction.
These thoughts, while often lacking any real basis, have the potential to generate intense negative emotional states , shame, anxiety, fear of failure, feelings of inadequacy. These, in turn, can influence your behavior: you may start avoiding group activities, withdraw from competitions, change your technique due to self-consciousness, or even physically overload yourself in an attempt to “prove” something to nonexistent critics (a product of your “mind reading”), which increases the risk of injury and overtraining.
III. How False Assumptions Affect Performance and Motivation
The tendency toward “mind reading” carries some particularly unfavorable consequences affecting the social functioning and intrinsic motivation of the athlete:
- Increased social anxiety and avoidance tendencies: The primary driver here is the fear of (imagined) negative social evaluation. This can lead to systematic avoidance of group training, competitions, or even sharing your athletic experiences, depriving you of valuable social support and a sense of belonging to the community.
- Disruption of trust and deterioration of relationships in sport and personal life: Constantly attributing negative thoughts to coaches, teammates, or loved ones regarding your athletic pursuits can create real tension in relationships and hinder open, constructive communication.
- Mental fatigue and distraction from important performance aspects: The cognitive effort required to constantly “decipher” supposed hidden signals and thoughts from others is exceptionally draining. This valuable mental energy could be invested more productively in your concentration on the training itself, technique refinement, or tactical race planning.
- Increased vulnerability to the “spotlight effect”: The tendency to “read minds” often goes hand in hand with the feeling of being under constant observation and evaluation by everyone present. This heightens your self-criticism and can produce a deep sense of inadequacy.
- Avoidance of constructive feedback: Your preconceived conviction that a coach or more experienced athlete will criticize you (based on “read” negative thoughts) may cause you to avoid situations where feedback is sought or provided, which could actually be key to your athletic development.
- Making decisions based on assumed others’ expectations rather than personal needs and goals: There’s a risk of modifying your training plan, equipment choices, or even your sporting goals not because it’s optimal for you, but in an attempt to meet (or disprove) what you believe others expect or think about you.
- Reduced authenticity and satisfaction from your own achievements: When your focus is predominantly on how you’re perceived by others, it becomes difficult to experience genuine, authentic joy from your own efforts and achievements, as they’re constantly filtered through the lens of assumed external judgment, produced by “mind reading.”
These specific impacts illustrate how constant “mind reading” doesn’t merely lower your overall psychological well-being but directly undermines the social and motivational aspects that are essential for the enjoyment and long-term engagement with amateur sport.
IV. Effective Approaches for Dealing with Unfounded Interpretations
Overcoming the tendency toward “mind reading” requires deliberate effort and the application of strategies that directly address this specific thought pattern. The goal is to develop a more objective and realistic view of social interactions and to reduce the influence of unfounded assumptions.
1. Developing metacognitive awareness: identifying the moment of misinterpretation The first and most important step is learning to recognize when your mind begins making assumptions about others’ thoughts. This requires self-observation, especially in situations that typically provoke anxiety or insecurity about others’ opinions. When you sense a negative emotional shift connected to an interaction with another person, ask yourself: “Is my reaction based on specific facts and spoken words, or is it the result of my assumption about what the other person is thinking?” For example, if your coach is watching you with a furrowed brow, instead of automatically concluding “He thinks I’m doing poorly,” stop and register your thought as potential “mind reading.”
2. Critical analysis of evidence: seeking objective facts After identifying a thought that may be a product of “mind reading,” it’s necessary to subject it to critical analysis. Ask yourself what specific, observable evidence supports your conclusion, and what evidence contradicts it or suggests an alternative explanation. You’ll often discover that the actual evidence for negative thoughts in the other person is weak or nonexistent. For example, if a colleague during group training passes you without saying hello, instead of thinking “He considers me too slow and doesn’t respect me,” look for facts. Ask yourself: “Did they say something? Did they make a specific gesture? Are there other possible reasons for their behavior (for example, intensely focused, tired, didn’t see me)?”
3. Creating alternative, more neutral explanations for others’ behavior Since we rarely have direct access to others’ thoughts, it’s important to develop flexibility in interpreting their behavior. For every behavior you tend to interpret as negative judgment, consciously try to formulate at least two or three alternative, more neutral or even positive explanations. For example, if someone looks at you during a race, instead of thinking “They probably see how tired I am and feel sorry for me” (classic “mind reading”), you could consider options like: “Maybe they’re just looking in my direction without any specific thought,” “They might be observing my technique out of interest,” or “They might simply be distracted.” This practice helps reduce the emotional charge of the initial negative interpretation.
4. Decentering: recognizing the limited likelihood of being the constant center of others’ attention People often overestimate the extent to which they are the focus of attention and thoughts from those around them (this is related to the so-called “spotlight effect”). It’s important to remind yourself that most people are primarily engaged with their own thoughts, worries, goals, and performance. It’s unlikely that they invest as much time and energy in analyzing and evaluating your actions as you might assume. Try looking at the situation from the outside: how much time do you personally spend analyzing and evaluating every single athlete around you during training or a race? Probably not much.
5. Focusing on what you can control: your own thoughts, feelings, and behavior You cannot control what others think (if they’re thinking anything specific about you at all), but you can control your own reactions, interpretations, and actions. When you sense yourself giving in to “mind reading,” consciously redirect your attention to what depends on you: your breathing, your technique, your pace, the sensations in your body, adherence to your plan, your attitude toward the challenge. This restores your sense of control and reduces the anxiety generated by the uncertainty of others’ thoughts.
6. Practicing assertive communication (in appropriate situations and relationships) In some cases, especially when it comes to closer relationships (for example with a coach or trusted training partner), if the uncertainty about their thoughts or attitude causes you significant discomfort, it can be helpful to seek clarification through direct but respectful communication. Instead of making assumptions, you can express your own observations and feelings constructively. For example: “I noticed you’ve been quieter lately during my interval sets. Sometimes I interpret this as meaning you might not be happy with my pace. I’d like to know if there’s something specific I should improve?” It’s important to use this approach wisely and only in contexts that allow it, without turning it into constant approval-seeking.
7. Cultivating self-compassion and acceptance Be more lenient and understanding toward yourself. Every person, including you as an amateur athlete, has moments of insecurity. When you catch yourself resorting to “mind reading” again and self-criticizing based on these assumptions, try to give yourself the same support and understanding you would offer a friend in a similar situation. Remind yourself of your achievements, the efforts you put in, and the fact that amateur sport is above all about health, enjoyment, and personal growth, not about constantly proving yourself to others.
REBT Perspective
In Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT), mind reading is viewed as a form of irrational inference , the belief that we know what others think without having real evidence. Ellis points out that behind this pattern lies a deeper irrational belief: “Others MUST approve of me, and if they don’t, it’s terrible.” The Disputing technique is especially effective here , it teaches us to distinguish observable facts from our interpretations and to challenge the very need for constant approval. This approach lies at the foundation of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which works systematically with cognitive distortions.
Beyond Sport: Mind Reading in Everyday Life
Mind reading isn’t reserved for athletes. Anyone who has ever decided they know what someone else is thinking , without asking , has been caught in the trap of this distortion.
At work: Your colleague didn’t greet you this morning. Your brain immediately constructs an explanation: “They don’t respect me.” Or: “They must have heard something bad about me.” The reality? They might have been having a bad day. They might have been lost in their own thoughts. They might simply not have noticed you. But you’ve already built an entire narrative , and you’re acting accordingly.
In personal relationships: Your partner didn’t reply to your message for two hours. “They must be angry.” “Maybe they’re ignoring me on purpose.” “Maybe they’re no longer interested.” Three hypotheses , and not one verified. And when your partner finally replies with “Sorry, I was in a meeting” , you’ve already lived through an emotional crisis.
In social life: Your friends went out without inviting you. Your brain: “They don’t like me enough.” The reality: maybe they assumed you were busy. Maybe they simply forgot. But you’ve already “judged” them , and yourself , based on a story you wrote yourself.
The most powerful technique here is also the simplest: test the hypothesis. Instead of accepting your interpretation as fact, ask. “I noticed you didn’t reply , is everything okay?” It sounds elementary, but most people prefer to live with the agonizing “certainty” of an unverified hypothesis rather than ask one simple question.
Mind reading is one of the five cognitive distortions I see most often , both in sport and outside of it. Understanding the entire pattern helps you see how they work together.
V. Conclusion: Freeing Yourself from the Weight of Unfounded Assumptions
The “mind reading” phenomenon is a cognitive habit that can significantly worsen your athletic “life” by causing you to react to imagined criticisms and negative evaluations rather than objective reality. Through awareness of this thought pattern and active application of strategies for challenging it , such as critical evidence analysis, generating alternative explanations, decentering, refocusing attention, and cultivating self-compassion , you can reduce its adverse impact.
It’s important to remember that most people are too engaged with their own thoughts, goals, and concerns to spend as much time and energy negatively evaluating your actions as you sometimes imagine. Free yourself from the limiting effect of unfounded assumptions that accompany “mind reading,” focus on your own path, the effort you put in, and the enjoyment of sport. Ultimately, your athletic journey is personal and belongs to you , it’s not meant to meet the assumed expectations of others. Think about it: how would your experience of sport change if you stopped trying to guess what others think and simply allowed yourself to be an authentic participant in your own experience?